TV characters at the helm of the Starship Enterprise

Ever wonder what would happen if your favorite TV characters took the helm of the Starship Enterprise?

No? Well, we did.

So we’ve fired up the trusty What If Machine (courtesy of my friend Shorty) to simulate some truly absurd crossovers. In this geeky experiment, the iconic crew of Star Trek: The Original Series gets replaced by ensemble casts from other beloved shows. The result? Fever dreams and cosplay fantasies/nightmares.

@mrwilliebeans

Every wonder what would happen if your favorite TV characters took the helm of the starship enterprise #ai #startrek #seinfeld #community #satc #alwayssunnyinphiladelphia

♬ Star Trek- The Original Series – Main Title – The Meridian Studio Ensemble

Strap in for a wild ride as we recast Captain Kirk, Spock, Bones, and the rest of the Enterprise crew with characters from Seinfeld, Sex and the City, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Community, and wait for it….The Spice Girls. Set phasers to fun, and let’s boldly go!

Seinfeld

What’s the deal with starships? A show about nothing meets a show about exploring everything. Picture the Seinfeld gang on the bridge, turning galactic crises into petty squabbles. They might boldly go, but only after debating the best space-diner to stop at. Here’s how the USS Seinfeld crew shakes out:

• Jerry as Captain Kirk: Jerry is the unofficial leader of his quirky quartet, so naturally he takes the captain’s chair. Much like Kirk, he’s a confident ladies’ man – except Kirk’s romances never ended with a stand-up bit about how weird her laugh was. Jerry would handle first contact situations with observational humor (“What’s the deal with Klingon foreheads?”) and somehow charm his way out of trouble with a smirk. He’ll boldly go where no comic has gone before, so long as there’s cereal in the commissary.
• Elaine as Spock: Logical Spock and brash Elaine might sound like opposites, but hear us out. Elaine is often the voice of reason among the idiots – er, friends – around her. She can deliver a withering “Get out!” shove that’s almost as effective as a Vulcan nerve pinch. As science officer, Elaine would raise one eyebrow at George’s hysterics and call out anything “breathtakingly” stupid (her vocab is as sharp as Spock’s). Sure, Vulcans aren’t supposed to show emotion, but if someone steals Elaine’s space toilet paper, expect very human screaming on the bridge.
• George as Dr. McCoy (“Bones”): Neurotic, panicky George as the ship’s doctor feels so right. Bones is known for grumbling “Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a __,” and you can bet George Costanza would complain about everything. He’s the guy hollering “Serenity now!” during a photon torpedo attack. George would prescribe marble rye and naps as cures for alien illnesses, and he’d absolutely argue with Captain Jerry at every turn, much like McCoy debates Kirk. When things go wrong (and with George, they will), he’ll throw up his hands: “I’m a doctor, Jerry, not an importer-exporter!”
• Kramer as Scotty: Who else could be the mad genius in Engineering? Kramer would treat the warp core like it’s his own personal project – rerouting power through a Kramerica Industries cheese grinder or something. Scotty’s famous for giving it all she’s got, and Cosmo Kramer has energy to spare. He’d burst onto the bridge (Jerry’s apartment-style) to announce, “Cap’n, I’m givin’ her all she’s got!” after some harebrained scheme to fix the engines. Unorthodox? Yes. But somehow this lanky goof keeps the ship running – likely with a mysterious drink he calls “space broth” and a few cigar store Indians as spare parts. It’s bizarre, it’s inexplicable, but it works.

(Can the Federation handle a captain who does bits about Shatner’s acting, or an engineer who slides in with hair standing taller than a warp core? The USS Seinfeld might be the first starship powered entirely by sarcasm.)

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Space just got a whole lot nastier. It’s Always Sunny… in Space? The Gang would turn the Enterprise into Paddy’s Pub with photon torpedoes. Prime Directive? Nah, these degenerates are launching empty beer cans at passing aliens. Buckle up for the USS Dysfunction:

• Dennis as Captain Kirk: Dennis Reynolds insists on being Captain – he’s got the ego (and an unironic love of dramatic monologues) for it. Sure, Kirk is a brave, noble leader… and Dennis is, well, a psychopath. Minor details. He’ll stand on the bridge, hands on hips, proclaiming himself a “golden god” while the ship quite literally burns behind him. Expect him to use the phrase “the implication” in every negotiation with a female alien – cringe. If an Orion slave girl rebuffs his advances, brace for a full-blown Dennis tantrum. Captain’s log, Stardate 2025: “The crew continues to be thoroughly untethered. I am exceedingly agitated.”
• Dee as Spock: In an ironic twist, Dee is the Spock of this crew – the one desperately trying to inject logic and get everyone to focus (good luck, Sweet Dee). She’ll attempt to advise Captain Dennis with rational plans, only to be mocked mercilessly. The gang will say her Vulcan ears make her look like a giant bird (of course). Still, Spock!Dee does have a certain cold-blooded side; if someone needs a nerve pinch, she’s more than happy to oblige (especially if it’s Dennis). She might be the most competent person on this nightmare ship, which means she’s doomed to be ignored. It’s illogical, and it hurts her feelings – not that anyone cares.
• Mac as Sulu: Mac gets to live out his action-hero fantasies as the swashbuckling helmsman. Sulu once pulled out a fencing sword and went shirtless – Mac would 100% do the same at the slightest provocation. (“Captain, permission to remove my uniform and engage the enemy in hand-to-hand combat? For tactical reasons… and because I’ve been working on my glamor muscles.”) As pilot, Mac would actually be pretty good – he’s got quick reflexes from years of bar fights. Just don’t expect subtlety. If an enemy vessel appears, Mac’s solution is basically “ram them, full speed, while blasting Christian rock.” Reckless? Yes. Kirk might love the enthusiasm, but Spock is facepalming.
• Charlie as Scotty: Chief Engineer Charlie Kelly has a nice ring to it, no? He’s illiterate, he huffs glue, but darn it, he keeps things running (sort of) at Paddy’s Pub – and now on a starship. Charlie would treat the Enterprise’s engines like his rat-infested basement: banging on pipes with a wrench, muttering about “warp core ghouls.” When the captain demands more power, Charlie will just scream incoherently and pour some Fight Milk (™) into the dilithium chamber. Miraculously, the ship goes to warp. He might also convert a Jefferies tube into his personal trash-filled apartment. But hey, Scotty always said the ship was his lady; Charlie’s just a… less polished version. “Wildcard, b***hes – engage!”
• Frank as Dr. McCoy: Dr. Frank Reynolds. Yes, it’s horrifying. He has no medical degree (unless you count that shady online course he bought), but Bones is all about attitude, and Frank’s got that in spades. He’ll roam sickbay in a stained Starfleet uniform (he cut it into a rum ham–themed sleeveless vest), offering dubious cures. “I’m a doctor, goddammit!” he’ll yell, waving a bottle of unfiltered gin as his “anesthetic.” Have an alien parasite? Frank will yank it out with barbecue tongs and charge you triple. Yet, in a pinch, he’s oddly effective – years of scam artistry have made him resourceful. He’ll save your life, but you might wake up minus a kidney (stolen to sell on the intergalactic black market, of course).

(The Always Sunny crew would probably hijack a Federation flagship to sell for scrap. Starfleet’s finest? Not so much. More like “The Gang Solves the Kobayashi Maru (By Cheating and Setting It on Fire)”. Still, you can’t look away from the disaster.)

Sex and the City

In space, no one can hear you talk about shoes—but they’ll still judge you for last night’s date with a Ferengi. The ladies of SATC trade Manhattan for the Milky Way, and honestly? The cosmos has never looked more fabulous. Aboard the USS Cosmopolitan, we find:

• Carrie as Captain Kirk: Carrie Bradshaw may not be the most qualified captain, but she is the one most likely to narrate the voyage like a moody space blog. “I couldn’t help but wonder… was space just one giant singles bar, and was I about to hook up with a Klingon?” She’s impulsive like Kirk, emotionally entangled in every planetary visit, and always sporting a wildly impractical outfit for a red alert situation. Phaser fire incoming? Carrie’s busy typing on a space-Mac about how love is the real black hole. But somehow—between introspection and inappropriate heels—she always gets the job done, usually with a wink and a wardrobe change.
• Miranda as Spock: Our logical queen. Miranda Hobbes is the only one on the ship actually qualified to do anything, which makes her perfect as Spock. She’s rational, sarcastic, and visibly annoyed to be surrounded by chaos in designer heels. Her eyebrow arch could cut through dilithium. Miranda-Spock is the one doing all the science, solving all the problems, and side-eyeing everyone during their melodramatic breakdowns. She’ll dissect an alien virus with precision, then roll her eyes as Carrie wonders if the virus is a metaphor for dating insecurity. No nonsense, high-functioning brilliance—Spock would be proud.
• Charlotte as Dr. McCoy (“Bones”): Sweet, earnest, emotionally overloaded Charlotte York as Bones makes for a surprisingly great match. Like McCoy, she leads with her heart and has no time for nonsense. She wants everyone to get along—even the alien slime mold that just tried to devour Deck 4. “Maybe it’s just misunderstood,” she’ll say, clutching a hypo-spray and a prayer. She’ll cry after every death, hug every wounded crew member, and awkwardly try to set up a Gorn and a Vulcan because “they seem lonely.” Expect a lot of “Dammit, Carrie, I’m a doctor, not a bridesmaid!”
• Samantha as Scotty: Wait—Samantha in Engineering? Yes. Why? Because she’s the only one fearless enough to handle a warp core meltdown and a shirtless alien orgy in the same scene. Scotty’s role is to “give her all she’s got,” and Samantha’s always got more to give. If the ship’s under attack, she’s rerouting power while seducing the enemy with a come-hither look and a bottle of Andorian tequila. The engines run hotter just from her being near them. And she’ll never pass up a chance to say: “Captain, I’m giving it all I’ve got—if you know what I mean.” Girl’s got range. And stamina.

(The USS Cosmopolitan might not follow Starfleet protocol, but it definitely has mood lighting, amazing outfits, and a warp trail that smells faintly of expensive perfume. Beam us directly to brunch.)

Community – The Meta Multiverse Edition

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the study group that made an entire episode out of a blanket fort war, reenacted Law & Order, and somehow still got a degree. If the original Star Trek series was groundbreaking TV, then this Greendale-fueled version is a galaxy-spanning bottle episode… directed by Abed. Welcome to the USS CoolCoolCoolprise.

• Jeff Winger as Captain Kirk: He doesn’t want to be the leader, but he definitely wants the attention, so it works out. Jeff commands the bridge like it’s a courtroom and a photoshoot combined. His speeches to Starfleet command are 80% motivational filler, 20% smolder. When the ship faces imminent destruction, expect a shirtless Jeff monologue, one single tear, and a final pose for the escape pod camera. He leads by charisma, not competence—but somehow, the crew keeps following him. Probably because he reminds them to moisturize.
• Abed Nadir as Director/Spock: This time, Abed’s not just Spock. He knows he’s Spock, knows he’s in a Star Trek episode, and knows you, the viewer, are watching. He breaks the fourth wall to explain the tropes, calls out “Redshirt syndrome” before an ensign dies, and narrates everything in stardate format whether anyone asked or not. He plays the straight man to Jeff’s chaos but slips in references that break canon just enough to feel right. Also, he’s building an exact model of the Enterprise in the holodeck, just for fun. Sometimes it becomes sentient.
• Annie Edison as Lt. Uhura with a side of Kirk’s conscience: Annie works hard. She’s at Communications, but she’s also somehow in charge of emotional intelligence, mission briefings, uniform dry cleaning, and reminding Jeff to “maybe not flirt with the Romulan delegate this time.” She’s Uhura with a clipboard and a stun gun. Annie delivers flawless diplomatic transmissions in twelve languages, then cries in the hallway because nobody filled out their mission reports correctly. When things go to hell, she’s the one who saves everyone, probably while chewing pink gum and writing a thank-you note.
• Troy Barnes as Sulu meets Wesley Crusher with dance breaks: This Troy is a prodigy in the cockpit—but also deeply confused by the idea that space isn’t a giant videogame. He shouts “BOOP BOOP!” every time he presses a button and gives each alien species a nickname (“Oh snap, the Dorito Men are back!”). He and Abed host a late-night pirate radio show from the comms system called Warp Core After Dark. One time, he turned the entire ship into a disco for a peace treaty, and it worked. His fencing is on point, too—he learned it from watching Sulu clips and The Princess Bride.

• Britta Perry as the Redshirt who refuses to die (but should’ve): Technically she’s Chekov. Spiritually, she’s the problem. Britta keeps butting into missions, demanding “planetary justice,” and getting space-cancelled by aliens for culturally insensitive activism. She’s a walking ethics seminar with bad instincts. One time she argued with a telepathic space whale about feminism and lost. But she means well, which somehow gets her rehired every week. The crew often pretends her mic is “accidentally” muted. She’s the worst. But also, she’s kind of perfect.
• Shirley Bennett as Dr. McCoy with a strong side of Space Mom: Shirley runs Sickbay like it’s her personal kitchen. Her hyposprays smell like cinnamon. She’ll heal your wounds and shame you for not calling your mother. She believes in God, Jesus, and phasers set to “repent.” Her calm bedside manner vanishes the moment someone suggests the existence of alien evolution: “Oh no. Not on my bridge.” When someone starts glowing from exposure to a temporal rift, she prays over them and makes hot cocoa. It works. Somehow.
• Pierce Hawthorne as an unassigned liability with too much access: He’s not in Starfleet. He’s just on the ship. Nobody knows why. He keeps wandering onto the bridge, hitting buttons, and calling Klingons “space hippies.” His quarters are full of stolen artifacts and outdated racist holodeck programs. Everyone agrees he should’ve been ejected into a wormhole seasons ago, but he pays for the ship’s vending machines and has an “in” with shady Ferengi suppliers. He once mind-melded with an energy being just to say he’d “felt younger.”

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Greendale’s crew might not make it to Starfleet graduation, but their mission to make space weird, emotional, and genre-savvy? Total success. The ship runs on heart, meta jokes, and that one time Jeff kissed a shape-shifter that turned out to be himself. Don’t think about it too hard—it’s canon now.

Spice Girls

Space just got a whole lot spicier. Five personalities. Five uniforms, all modified to be way more glittery. The Spice Girls unite not to seek out new life, but to teach it the value of friendship, platform sneakers, and loud choreographed feminism. Welcome aboard the USS ZigaZiga-Zorp.

• Scary Spice (Mel B) as Captain Kirk: Bold. Loud. Alpha. Scary Spice is 100% the Kirk of the crew. She doesn’t ask for permission—she kicks down the doors of the Klingon Empire and yells, “Tell me what you want, what you really really want!” She’s got the fire, the confidence, and a completely unfiltered approach to diplomacy. If Kirk leads with swagger, Scary leads with pure, untamed energy. Her catchphrase: “Warp speed, babes—let’s fookin’ go.” Also, expect most of her log entries to be screamed over a bass drop.
• Sporty Spice (Mel C) as Spock: It might seem odd to put Sporty as the emotionless Vulcan, but think about it: she’s disciplined, focused, and lowkey the most capable member of the Spice crew. She brings balance to the glitter-storm and often ends up doing the real work. While the others are striking poses, Sporty is reverse-calibrating the warp matrix and doing splits off the transporter pad. Her Spock is more zen than stoic, with a side of Pilates. And yes, she’d absolutely beat you in hand-to-hand combat, then offer to spot you in the gym.
• Baby Spice (Emma) as Chekov: Young, bubbly, and a little unpredictable? That’s Baby. Chekov is wide-eyed and enthusiastic, and so is Emma—except she delivers coordinates in a soft voice while blowing bubbles. She’s the innocent voice on the comms going, “Ooh look, an alien baby goat! Can we keep it?” Right before accidentally firing phasers. Still, she’s sweet, earnest, and deeply loyal. Also, her hair ties have built-in targeting sensors. The galaxy loves her. Probably too much.
• Posh Spice (Victoria) as Uhura: Victoria Beckham doesn’t do chaos. She judges it. And as Communications Officer, she says very little, but makes it count. Uhura’s cool elegance is a perfect match for Posh’s calm, icy vibe. She’ll answer alien distress calls with a perfect side-eye and one word: “No.” Her comms console is bedazzled, but her tone is pure steel. She doesn’t raise her voice—she doesn’t have to. One eyebrow from Posh says, “I’ve conquered tougher things than a Romulan blockade. Try me.”
• Ginger Spice (Geri) as Dr. McCoy (“Bones”): Ginger brings the heart. And the chaos. As Dr. Bones, she’s dramatic, full of flair, and constantly giving over-the-top diagnoses like, “This crew is suffering from a massive charisma deficiency, darling.” Her Sickbay is part ER, part backstage dressing room. She’ll patch you up with glitter glue and a monologue about British girlhood. Emotional? Yes. Loud? Always. But if your arm’s falling off, she’ll scream, stitch, and strut all at once. Her medical bag contains a defibrillator, red lippie, and a backup mic—just in case.

(The USS ZigaZiga-Zorp doesn’t run on dilithium. It runs on Girl Power. Sure, half the time the phasers are set to “fabulous,” and the ship’s log is a remix, but when the Spice crew beams down, you better respect it—or get disco-danced into a coma.)